The Most Depressing News of the Week, pt. 2

I never thought I’d see this day, where a guaranteed slam-dunk of money, talent, and hype couldn’t get a project off the ground. Leave it to human nature; we’re unpredictable creatures, and if there’s a way to fuck up, no matter how many subliminal hoops we have to jump through, we can seize it like a crocodile seizing its prey. So, start the funeral music, because here it is:

According to director Neill Blomkamp, the expected adaptation of the Halo series is “dead.” (sniffle) Apparently, disagreements between the studios involved were what caused the demise of this sure-fire moneymaker, and it’s unlikely that the project will ever see the light of day. (snort)… I’m sorry, I just got a little choked up. Let’s hope I can get through the rest of the post without breaking down crying.

This is the sort of thing that I just can’t wrap around my simian brain. Sure, I’m bummed. As a Halo fan and a movie-goer, this movie should’ve kicked Herculean ass. And anyone who’s seen the live-action Halo 3 shorts on the Internet knows that Neill was a great choice for director, taking the sci-fi action of Halo down to a human, almost documentary-like level. Every time I’d watch one of those, I’d get a nerdie (a nerd stiffie) and it upped my hopes that the two studios involved with the project, Universal and Fox, would put aside their differences, agree on a budget, and get the damn thing going!!! But alas, it was not to be. Bureaucracy and bickering got in the way of a decent project that should’ve gotten made even if Christ himself gave it a thumbs down while guest-hosting Ebert & Roeper.

The other thing that confused me was how many people didn’t care about a Halo movie, and even worse, resented the idea. After countless disappointments in the cinema, videogame fans have probably learned that the two mediums are not symbiotic, a case of “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 57 times, shame on everyone!” I certainly disagree with this sentiment, as those shorts are an excellent example of how a good director can work with the material he or she is given. Halo will always exist in Xboxes everywhere, but I can’t help but think that an interesting film could’ve been made, perhaps one that could’ve turned the tide for videogame cinema.

R.I.P. Halo: The Movie

P.S. I urge everyone to Google “Halo live action shorts” and give them a peek. These may be the best battle sequences I’ve seen since Saving Private Ryan.